The difference between parent and friend...
This has been my day, for the past few days...Kieren doesn't listen for whatever reason, I send him to time out (stomping and screaming bloody murder the whole way). Behind his closed door I hear "I don't want you mommy! I want you go away forever!!" After he cools down and I (sort of) cool down, I ask him, "do you know what you said?" "Do you want me to go away forever and never come back?" Him, "yeah". "Do you like me?" Him, "sort of". Some of you might read this and laugh to yourselves because you know he's only 5 and doesn't really know what he's saying. For me though, it broke my heart and I sobbed for like 20 minutes. I am such a sensitive person, always have been. I remember holding him all day, nursing him to sleep and being his absolute most favorite person in the world. Now, Daddy is his favorite and he says things like, "I want a different mommy that knows how to play video games". Whaaaaaaat?!
An old college friend told me something today on Facebook that really gave me some perspective and reminded me of the amazing grace and love God gives us. He said,
" That is the difference between parenting and friendship. Teaches me about the patience and love of God because how often I do and say the same things to God in different ways and yet he has never waivered in faithfulness to me. Parenting is a great gift in perspective from God."
Norm and I have been reading through the Bible in a year and are in the beginning of the Old Testament right now. God brought the Hebrew people out of Egypt and out of slavery. He led them through water (on dry land). He led them through the desert with a cloud by day and pillar of fire by night. He rained food from the sky. He made water flow out of a rock. Yes, they wandered for a LONG time. But He provided. Still, they questioned Him, they created false idols because they didn't think God cared anymore, they did a LOT of dumb things. He still loved them, He was patient. They were definitely disciplined for their actions, but they were given grace as well.
This morning, I was a blubbering mess. I allowed my emotions to get the best of me. I allowed the words of a 5 year old, said in anger, tear me down. While I hope that one day he can call me his friend, I am above all his parent. God gave me the great gift of being a mother, to care for and love unconditionally this child. Unconditional love is freaking hard. Especially when the recipient is shouting in your face that they don't like you. But I'm pretty sure I've said that to God a time or two. Regardless of my actions, He loves me and gives me grace everyday of my life. He is overwhelmingly patient with my stupidity. And not only does He love me, He "delights" in me. Wow.
Thank you, Chris Thomas for reminding me of that today. It's exactly what I needed and I hope I can remember it everyday. When I think my kid is being a total jerk to me, I need to remember...he is just a kid. Deep down he loves me, probably more than I realize. And I love him more than anything in this world.
An old college friend told me something today on Facebook that really gave me some perspective and reminded me of the amazing grace and love God gives us. He said,
" That is the difference between parenting and friendship. Teaches me about the patience and love of God because how often I do and say the same things to God in different ways and yet he has never waivered in faithfulness to me. Parenting is a great gift in perspective from God."
Norm and I have been reading through the Bible in a year and are in the beginning of the Old Testament right now. God brought the Hebrew people out of Egypt and out of slavery. He led them through water (on dry land). He led them through the desert with a cloud by day and pillar of fire by night. He rained food from the sky. He made water flow out of a rock. Yes, they wandered for a LONG time. But He provided. Still, they questioned Him, they created false idols because they didn't think God cared anymore, they did a LOT of dumb things. He still loved them, He was patient. They were definitely disciplined for their actions, but they were given grace as well.
This morning, I was a blubbering mess. I allowed my emotions to get the best of me. I allowed the words of a 5 year old, said in anger, tear me down. While I hope that one day he can call me his friend, I am above all his parent. God gave me the great gift of being a mother, to care for and love unconditionally this child. Unconditional love is freaking hard. Especially when the recipient is shouting in your face that they don't like you. But I'm pretty sure I've said that to God a time or two. Regardless of my actions, He loves me and gives me grace everyday of my life. He is overwhelmingly patient with my stupidity. And not only does He love me, He "delights" in me. Wow.
Thank you, Chris Thomas for reminding me of that today. It's exactly what I needed and I hope I can remember it everyday. When I think my kid is being a total jerk to me, I need to remember...he is just a kid. Deep down he loves me, probably more than I realize. And I love him more than anything in this world.
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