Mission Accomplished

This morning I set out to go to the bank and do some light grocery shopping.  I did not expect to have the worst shopping trip of my 5 years as a mom.  We walk into Safeway and immediately they both start begging for balloons.  Thank you Safeway for strategically placing ginormous balloons all over your store.  Not to mention candy and toys...but I'll save that for another day.  Anyway, I calmly tell them that we will not be buying balloons today mainly because when we do, Kieren pops it about 10 minutes after receiving it.  He continues to beg and whine and cry until we get to the avocados and he basically sits on the floor and starts yelling.  That was it for me.  I take Zoe out of the cart, grab his hand and we storm out of the store.  I plop them in the car and sit in the front seat, fuming.  I made it clear that when we get home, he will be losing all of his colored balls (it's an incentive program we have going) and at least one toy.  I was about to drive home and texted Norm, "Forget dinner.  Kieren just threw a fit over an f*$#-ing balloon."  Then I decided NO, this is not happening.  I will not be stopped from grocery shopping.  So I said...well, kind of yelled, "We are going back in that store and you are going to be quiet.  You will not yell and beg and throw a fit because you want something."  We went back in and did our shopping.  On the way out, I put Zoe on the ground and grabbed the bags.  I explained that she had to hold my hand while we walk to the car.  She did the limp noodle and once we got to the other side of the parking lot, sat down in the drizzly rain.  At that moment a nice older couple, with their grown son walked by and asked if I needed help.  They told me, "we've been there too.  We had twins and this one here."  They were so sweet and it really lightened this ridiculous moment for me.  We get to the car and Zoe is flailing around and hits her head on the car.  She's okay, don't worry.  But the whole thing just got more and more out of control.  By the time I put them in the car they were both screaming and crying again, I got out and stood outside the car, fuming again.  We made it home in one piece and I made a cup of glorious Major Dickinson's, smelling it the entire time as if it were making me high or something.  Coffee calms me down.  Hello, my name is Jasmine and I'm a coffee-a-holic.  I was sober for a few weeks but now I'm back on the waggon.  After today, I deserved it and felt no guilt about it whatsoever.  Maybe I'll try going off it again when they're older.  Maybe I won't.  I don't really care.  You gotta do what you gotta do.  That's my parenting motto...