You Never Know

 You might think you know what you think about something...until it get's close to home.  About 5-8 years ago I started to question what I had always believed about people who are gay (I had been taught in church that it is a sin).  I had seen more and more hatred, judgment and discrimination of the LGBTQ+ community by many who are "Christian" and it didn't sit right with me.  I started to read books, I asked people I trusted what they thought and I started to wrestle with it on my own.  After a while of this, my cousin randomly texted me that she had been in a relationship with her (female) friend and they later got married.  I was very happy for her.  The further I went on this journey, it started to come down to one question for me: what would my response be if one of my kids were gay?

Along this journey I started to hear an author I love speak more and more about her thoughts and opinions.  Jen Hatmaker came out in full support of the LGBTQ+ community and she was shunned by many.  Her books were taken off shelves, she was asked not to speak at events again and more...Deep in my heart, I knew...one of her kids must be gay.  I later discovered I was right.

I've come to believe that you can have tons of opinions about something, but once it gets personal to you, that can be turned upside down.  I kept having this feeling deep in my bones that one day it was going to get real personal to me...I just didn't expect it to happen this year.

We were living in Iowa and to be perfectly honest, it had been rough for us.  We didn't feel like we really fit in and it was hardest for our kids.  We had begun thinking about moving on, maybe by the end of summer.  I was having a conversation with a friend one day and she said, "statistically it's 1 in 4 so it's either going to be one of my kids or one of yours."  One day Kieren texted me to ask if he could go to a friends house (who was a girl) and I grilled him a little, "will her parents be there?" I asked.  He responded with, "there's something I've been wanting to tell you...I'm gay."  Everything just came crashing together and I knew why I had been on this journey.  That was a hard few days for many reasons but what it all came down to for us was this, 

we LOVE our son exactly as he is

we know that God loves him

the end.

In that moment it became imperative that we leave Iowa.  The kids had received racist comments from kids at school and we knew that if this "came out" so to speak...it could be so much worse.  We knew that we had to be in a place where our son felt loved, accepted and safe.  So we took a GIANT leap of faith and packed up all our stuff, Norm quit his first pastor position, I took my old job back and we came back to Seattle.  We sacrificed so much and risked so much, but we did it for love.  Our love for our son is so much bigger than any opinions, beliefs or preconceived ideas we might have.  God's love for our son is so much bigger than all of that.

Today,  nearly 2 years after I wrote this,  I can now include my daughter in this and have her permission to do so.  Our son is bi-sexual and our daughter is gay. We are so proud of who they are and hope that sharing our story will help someone out there because I was once where you are... searching for the answers until they were staring me in the face. 

Love is love is love.


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