Going Back to School After Kids

 Some people decide not to have kids until after they've started their "career".  Sometimes you go to college and still don't know what you want to "do" and you decide to start having kids then...(like me).  I have four kids and my oldest is thirteen.  I graduated from my undergrad about fifteen years ago and this year decided to go back to school.  Over the past five years I've been thinking about what I really want to "do"...at first I thought I wanted to go to massage school, then I thought maybe I wanted to get a degree in women and gender studies...then I finally realized what my real passion is for: social justice.  So, I started a certificate program with Harvard Extension School that I must complete within three years.  The other night my ten year old daughter asked me, "do you have to do your college over summer break?"  I said, "well first of all...it's not 'college' and yes, I'm taking a class over summer".  She walked away and gave me a big sigh.  Ok, I get it, you're bummed that I can't spend more time with you and it definitely makes me feel good that you actually do still want me around...but, really?!  I'm finally doing something I'm really excited about and interested in, I'm finally doing something for myself  (in a way) and you're going to make me feel bad?  It's okay...I know when she grows up she'll understand.

We have enough "mom guilt" about other things, we don't need to feel guilty for pursuing our dreams; even if we don't realize what our dreams are until later in life.

One of my friends from undergrad recently decided to go to nursing school, she has four kids as well.  My cousin is graduating from Law School and she is a single mom of an eleven year old.  These are example of women that truly inspire me.  One of my professors in the first class I recently finished told us repeatedly that he "loves" teaching extension school students because they have "already lived lives" and usually have a lot to contribute.  It made me feel so good to hear that and it makes sense too because when you make the choice to go back to school (especially when you have kids), it's usually because you're really serious about it and have found something you're very interested in.

This journey has taught me a lot but one thing for sure is that you can't necessarily know what to "do" when you "grow up", when you don't even know who you are.  When I went to college at 19 I had no clue who I was.  Not to say that I made a mistake but I do think it makes me less likely to pressure my kids into going straight into college if they don't really know what to pursue.  I think it's really unrealistic to expect our kids to know what they want to do when they graduate high school.  I changed my major three times at least, and I'm still not "doing" anything with my degree.

My husband is another perfect example of this.  At one time he wanted to be a doctor and he has a minor in biology but is now a pastor (after getting his undergrad and two masters degrees).  Life often does not go the way we plan and that's okay.  The upside to me figuring all this out now is that I can share my experience with my kids and maybe they can learn something as well.

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