Parenthood Reflection

It's no secret that one of my favorite shows EVER is Parenthood and the next episode is the series finale so I'm pretty bummed.  I've been reflecting on it lately and have come to a realization.  It is such a real to life show, so raw and full of emotion.  It's about a large family, the patriarch and matriarch and their children and grand children.  I am an only child so I can't relate to being one of four siblings and the fact that they all live in the same city, have family dinners regularly and are quite involved in one another's lives.  However I do relate very much to Amber (one of the grand kids).  Her mom Sarah had been a sort of "black sheep" in the family and gone through a lot, including a divorce.  So Amber had grown up without much of a fatherly presence in her life.  Now, at the end of the show she is having her own child and is reflecting on her fathers way of reacting.  He sent a crib for her baby but was not there to help build it.  He didn't visit her or call.  She chalks it up to him just being how he always has been.  A bit of back story, Ambers Dad was a sort of rock star in his prime and she herself is musically inclined.  She was playing/singing a Joni Mitchell song in last nights episode and her mom comes in and starts singing with her.  It got me thinking...sure her Dad was not there for her, they always had and will always have a rocky and nearly non existent relationship but he had a huge influence on who she has become.

I have come to a point where I realize and accept that I will never have the Dad I wish I did or think I might deserve or need.  He is not going to call me or come visit when my 3rd child is born.  It's who he is and I must accept it whether it makes me feel good or not.  Sure I continue to pray for him and write him occasionally, but it's time I let go.  What I need to focus on is how my Dad participated in making me who I am today.  I received many wonderful qualities from my Mom and learned much from her, but I have from my Dad as well.  I believe it is from him I learned what it means to take pride in your work and do it well.  From him I believe I received traits such as attention to detail, a sensitive and empathetic heart and passion for life.  My Dad has said that he didn't have a great impact on my life because I had chosen to be with my Mom more often, but I don't think he can ever realize just how much the opposite is true.  He taught me how important eating healthy is.  He showed me how to be adventurous or at least to seek adventure (I don't think I will ever take up wind surfing  or climb Mt. Shasta like he did).  He taught me to take risks and try new things even if they make me feel uncomfortable.  From my father I have learned more than I even realize and gained some great character traits that I have come to appreciate.

It might just be a TV show, but Parenthood was one of the most well done series I have ever seen and took me on such an emotional roller coaster while teaching me at the same time.  I will miss it but I am so thankful for what it has shown me about my own life.