My love/hate relationship with technology

I have a love/hate relationship with modern technology, especially cell phones.  I absolutely love how we can remain connected with friends and family around the world through social media, texting and email.  I appreciate how fast we can be updated about major events, things in the news or when a friend needs help. Playing games like Pokemon Go or Wizards Unite can be fun as well.  What I really hate though is the profound way it disconnects us from social interaction. It’s kind of funny actually...this little thing that connects people from all walks of life, all over the world also carries the power to disconnect.

Now that we have a “tween”, I spend a lot of time thinking about and wondering what our kids will be like as teenagers.  I have this picture in my head of them walking around, heads bent, staring at their phones like zombies and it terrifies me.  Then I think about one of the most basic things we learn as parents, our kids want to do what we’re doing and imitate us. They carry around baby doll’s because we’re holding our baby. They pretend to talk on a banana because that’s the closest thing they have that looks like a phone.  They boss around their little sister/brother because that’s what we do to them...I have seasons when I am convicted by the amount of time I spend on my phone and usually my initial reaction is to delete Facebook but then I remember that the connection I have to my friends and family all over is too important to do that. What this comes down to for me is self control.  Do I have the self control to keep these apps on my phone but look at them less? Can I model that kind of restraint to my kids? Who would have thought 30 years ago that this would even be a question? The closest thing we had back in the 80’s and 90’s was how many hours is “too much” to talk on the landline.

Another weird phenomenon I’ve noticed is when I’m in situations of social interaction and people begin conversations with “I saw you post ___ on Facebook” or “I saw you did ____” because of a picture I had posted.  This has completely eliminated the question “what did you do this weekend?” Maybe I need to be a little less concerned with updating the world on my daily life and a little more present.

Recently I’ve become aware of the fact that our four year old is actually addicted to the iPad.  We often use it as a bargaining chip and when she has “lost it” she will continue to ask if she can have it back and when we say “no”, she will literally cry.  This is a low point for me as a parent. I’m not proud of it and I recognize that allowing her to play on devices at three and four was not the best choice. Really what I’m wrestling with right now is what kind of people are these kids going to grow into and how am I influencing that, whether intentional or not?

I think there needs to be a healthy balance between staying connected through my phone while still remaining connected to those that are physically around me.  My kids have grown in the blink of an eye and even the baby is not a baby anymore...I don’t want to completely miss it. This is not a judgment but a personal conviction and a challenge to myself.  I know that a majority of my parental influence comes out of what they see me doing. I hope that I can gain restraint and self control and demonstrate that to them so that when they do get phones, they too can learn how to do that for themselves and remain connected to the real, physical world around them rather than lose themselves in this virtual world we have made.