The Ups and Downs of Public School

I went to public school from Kindergarten to 12^th grade.  I can only recall one teacher that I really didn’t like but for the most part they were all great and I enjoyed going to school.  We have found that our son has difficulty with traditional school, he has experienced bullying as well as frustration with learning.  He also seems to have what appears to be horrible “luck” with the schools he ends up at.  In Seattle he had an awesome Kindergarten teacher and then when he went into 1^st grade his teacher was on the verge of being let go and his class split and added to two other classes (larger class size, NOT GOOD).  The community raised enough money to keep her on staff…yeah, something definitely wrong with that.  Then when he went into 2^nd grade there was a teacher strike, so he started about a month late and eventually started falling behind…so we pulled him out and home schooled until we moved here to Michigan.  His first year here (2^nd grade again) went fairly well aside from some bullying issues.  He finally got to the point where he enjoyed reading, but he was still struggling.  This year has been a different story.  He had a very nice teacher who communicated with us but the bullying ramped up.  He would complain of being teased, pushed around and even hit.  Every single morning he woke up and said, “I don’t want to go, I hate it” and every night he would worry and even cry sometimes.  His anxiety headaches and stomach aches started coming back (he had experienced this is Seattle) so we started counseling.  We are extremely thankful for our church that is helping us with this financially and we will continue with it as it is giving him tools to handle his anxiety but also the relief of talking through issues with someone aside from his parents.  He has still continued to hate school and be miserable.  In Seattle I had a neighbor who had brought up dyslexia as her son dealt with it and had received tutoring that really helped him so at that time I began thinking about the possibility but we hadn’t had him tested because we were in the process of moving here and life was hectic.  We got here and had seen him improve so we still didn’t have him tested, however he continued to be a little behind…yet none of his teachers ever suggested anything.  Recently we had started discussing the possibility of dyslexia again, I emailed his teacher to ask for resources and information on how to have him tested.  Literally days later we found out that his 3^rd grade teacher had decided to stay home with her kids and would be leaving.  Like I said…bad luck.  I don’t necessarily believe in good and bad luck, but if I did…he would have it when it comes to school.

So, I sent a formal letter to the district requesting testing for dyslexia.  In the meantime we were told Kieren’s class would have a sub for a few weeks while they look to replace his teacher…that did not happen.  Instead they were put in with a 5^th grade class who he tells us have a horribly mean teacher that yells at them all the time.  Of course, this did not help his anxiety.  Rather than being actually taught he was sitting in the back of a 5^th grade class doing worksheets.  I have to also add that he had been picked on by 5^th graders…so the causes for his anxiety just stacked up.  There were a few days where they had half days so we told him, just try to stick it out, it will get better.  Then he told us that on Monday they would be going back in there…to which we said, “hell no”.  Norm called the school to report him absent and request a meeting with the principal.  Throughout this year we have been talking about putting Kieren in an alternative type school next year, whether that be private, Montessori or homeschooling with the support of a charter.  We wanted him to stick it out to the end of this year but we came to a crossroads where we had to just make the decision to pull him out.  Norm left that message yesterday and of course this morning we got the robocall saying he was absent today, but we have yet to hear a response from the principal or anyone with an update on his class situation or showing any concern for the fact that he is really struggling.  Also, just today I received a voicemail from the district stating that they received my letter and would be following up in 10 days.  Well it’s just too little to late.  We realize that by withdrawing him we are giving up our chance to have testing paid for by the district but we just aren’t willing to allow him to be miserable any longer.

The other side to the coin of this public school situation is that Zoe is doing very well.  She is in a 1^st/2^nd grade combo class and she is doing 2^nd grade work.  This environment works for her and she is excelling, however Kieren clearly needs more support and better understanding of his learning styles and in that respect the school has failed him in our opinion.

This year has been heartbreaking and frustrating, it’s not easy to watch your child struggle and hurt and feel powerless to do anything, but in the last couple days I have seen a weight lifted from his shoulders.  Although Norm just started his last semester of Seminary yesterday he has stepped up in an amazing way and decided that he will teach Kieren at home for the rest of the year (since I’m working).  I’m not sure we will be able to have him formally tested for dyslexia but for now we are doing our own research and trying out different methods.  I feel very affirmed in our decision and thankful for our community here and for friends that although they are around the world have offered incredible advice and support in this journey.

Kieren will be 10 on Feb 5^th and the almost 10 years I have been a mom I have learned that parenting is extremely hard, yet rewarding and amazing at the same time.  Mostly you learn as you go, with some reading and kind words of wisdom from those you trust thrown in.  Thank you to those who have been praying for us and encouraging us along the way.  I will keep you updated on all this.  Life is never simple or boring around the Underland house but I am thankful for three healthy, smart and beautiful kids and one amazing partner to do it with.