My word for the year

Last winter my dear friend Bri told me about her idea to have a “word” for the year, rather than a resolution.  It’s the idea that instead of some unattainable goals (that after the first week you will likely forget or give up) you have a theme to focus on throughout the entire year.  She knew that hers would be love so I started to think about what mine should be.  Well, months later we were discussing our “words” and ironically I had completely forgotten what mine was.  “I want to say it had something to do with time?” I said giggling.  I had been contemplating being present quite often and decided that whatever my word had been in December, I was pretty sure it had something to do with time and that’s close enough so moving forward it would be “present”.

This word and this concept is something that I have been challenged with a lot recently.  We came to Michigan almost one year ago and time has really flown by.  With starting a new job, finding our new church home, Kieren and Zoe starting at a new school, Norm continuing with his program….I felt like life was just whizzing past and leaving me in the dust.  My job for a while was a great source of anxiety and worry, for a variety of reasons.  I was adjusting to being away from home more than I had been when we were in Seattle, being the one working outside the home and shouldering the weight of providing for my family.  I started to tune in to that “still small voice” of God telling me to be present, to be here and now…or else I was really going to miss out.  I started to feel less anxiety about work and more assurance that He has me there right now for a reason and however hard it may be, He is teaching me, growing me and preparing me in some way.  Then a few weeks ago I went on a silent retreat with my church and all these little things I had been feeling the Lord place on my heart and in the back of my mind came to the forefront.

Be present

When I am more present in the small moments, I no longer feel like life is just passing me by.  More importantly, I am more capable of giving thanks for those small things and as a result finding immense joy.  I’ve been reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann VosKamp and it has changed my life.  I have started my own list of one thousand gifts and it’s amazing how just writing down the little things that I am thankful for brings so much joy, but if I am not present, I don’t see.

Be still and find Sabbath

In our culture we are so obsessed with being busy and doing.  If we’re not doing something we are “bored” or “lazy” or “unproductive”.  I think it is this misconception of a need for busyness that sucks the joy out of our lives.  If we don’t know how to be still and find rest, we cannot know peace.  Even Jesus had to get away sometimes and escape the crowds and that is when He drew near to God and became renewed and refreshed.  The busier I am and the more often I forget to find stillness, silence and peace…the more consumed I am with anxiety and fear.

There is this quote that goes like this, “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present.”  As cheesy as that is, it’s true!  People are always telling new parents to “enjoy it while you can” about their new babies or small children because it truly does go by so fast…but it’s often not something you realize until it’s too late.  I look at my 9 year old boy and just cannot believe how fast that went by or the fact that he’s passed up my shoulder already.  Wasn’t he just a tiny baby yesterday?  The concept of being present is a hard one to grasp when you’re smack in the middle of nighttime feedings, changing diapers or potty training…struggling through a tough transition, dealing with a broken relationship or living paycheck to paycheck.  It’s tempting to just want this current phase of life to be over, to move on to when things are better, easier.  But what if in the waiting for things to get "better" you miss out on the good things that are all around you?

Something tells me that present is not just my word for 2017 but a word for my life.  I do not have it all figured out, but I feel like I have learned so much in the past 5 months.  So thank you dear friend for inspiring me, challenging me, supporting me and loving me in what has been a very hard but very rewarding season of life.  J