Time

I am not really one for new years resolutions, never have been.  I want to get back into jogging but I'm not going to set a goal other than "I want to get back into jogging".  I'm interested in doing a detox or cleanse at some point but I'm not going to begin the year with it.  Do I have low expectations for myself?  Maybe.  Instead I have been inspired by a couple friends to come up with a word for the year.  I've been thinking about it over the past few days and decided on Time.  Last summer we moved out here to Michigan and it has felt like time literally raced by beginning the moment we arrived.  As soon as we landed in our hotel I was searching for jobs and interviewing.  I was hired within the first couple weeks and started work.  Not long after that the kids started at their new school.  Norm has had reading, papers and finals...then repeat.  Freija learned to walk and is now racing all over the house and discovering that she has a song in her heart that the world must hear.  I felt for a while like I was in a bit of a depression, wondering why life was suddenly going so much faster than I have ever felt before.  In the past I have only worked part time and have been at home with the kids for a good part of the day.  When Kieren started school and I was seeing him less, that was a hard adjustment.  After we moved out here Zoe started all day kindergarten and I lost my daytime buddy.  Freija is not in school yet but when I leave for work everyday and have to say goodbye to her, it is heart wrenching.  Moving across the country and immediately starting a full time job was a very difficult change for me and I was very bummed out for a while there.  When I get home Norm tells me about the little things Freija had done or learned during the day and while I know he is just trying to share the day with me and keep me up to speed, it hurts a little because I know it's something I missed.
Well, it is a new year...(deep breath).  I have settled into my job after almost 6 months and I enjoy it.  While it doesn't always feel like enough, I know I am providing for my family in this season and that feels good.  So I have decided that Time is an important word for me right now in life.  The time that I have with my precious children is beginning to go faster and faster so I need to be very intentional about the time I spend with them and the way I interact with them in those moments.  I need to be aware of what steals time away from them.  Sometimes I want to be extreme and delete facebook, but I think I just need to be more aware of how much I'm on it and if it is taking time away from the real people in front of me.
I want to be more intentional about spending time in prayer, meditation and devotion because I know that is where I will be filled up to face another day.  That is where I will receive the encouragement and motivation I need.
I want to focus on slowing down and soaking up the little yet important moments in life.  I want to spend a little less time zoning out in front of the tv (while I do enjoy those moments) with my hubby and a little more time connecting over a card game or reading through a book (the latter probably not happening right now as he is still in school).  I want to spend more time calling people I love or skyping with friends in far away places.  I think the common thread here is "spending time"...I want to spend time, not waste it.  You could say that there is less pressure in having a "word" for the year than in having a resolution but I disagree.  I think there is a great deal of pressure in it but also great potential to see how it renews, changes and impacts my life in the coming year.  A lot of horrible things happened last year and it would be easy to be hopeless about this one, but I am thankful that His mercies are new every morning and I'm excited for what this year might bring.

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