Truth reflected in lyrics

I am a HUGE Mumford and Sons fan.  The other day I was driving to work while listening to one of my favorite songs but this time it had new meaning for me.  The lyrics that have hit home since that first time I heard it...

And there will come a time you'll see, with no more tears
And love will not break your heart but dismiss your fears
Get over your hill and see what you find there
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair

The first time I heard After the Storm I thought of heaven and being in the presence of Jesus and surrounded by love.  A true and pure love that cannot break your heart like the corrupt and "human" love of this world.  You know what's funny?  I just looked up the title of the song because I didn't know it and now, it means even more.  I'll tell you why...

Almost two months ago my right lung was collapsing and I ended up eventually having surgery to repair the hole.  As most of you know I have always had a rocky relationship with my dad.  For many months leading up to this he had not been speaking to me.  While laying in the hospital for 5 days I of course had a lot of time to think about it.  I said to myself, if he's going to have a miraculous change, now would be the time.  You would think that if your daughter had a near death experience and was in the hospital, you would put the past behind you and reach out to her right?  Ummm no.  He told my Grandmother that he would send me a card.  All my life I have struggled with this whole thing and gone in and out of seasons where I can "let go"...but not really.  Finally, I have.  I have accepted he is not going to change and if he does it will take a literal act of God.  I'm not giving up on him, I continue to pray for him.  I just don't pour so much energy into it anymore and I don't feel like I'm pining over a lost relationship.  Instead I am focusing on those who truly care about me and invest time into me, whether they're related by blood or not.

So this time I heard the song I thought, wow, my "hill" to get over was letting go of my dad.  I now truly feel like I have "grace in my heart and flowers in my hair" because I have truly moved on.  I'm not crying about it all the time or thinking about it all the time.  It was only "After the Storm" and after this life changing experience that I reached this point.  Don't get me wrong, it's still hard, but in more of an "I feel sorry for him because he's missing out" sort of way, not an "I feel sorry for myself" sort of way.

I have no idea what Mumford was thinking when they wrote that song...but this is what it means to me.

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